Autumn has come to Long Island again, although sometimes the weather doesn't really feel like autumn as it goes up and down between chilly and warm. It contributes to the likelihood of people getting sick, such as myself. I cannot believe that it has been over a year since I've moved here, and we are now on another cycle of seasons. With all the changes of season and of time, it feels like there should be more changes with GCP.
Much has been happening around me, and with all the things I've experienced over the summer, I feel like I have to have a great update for all of you. But the truth is, I think this is simmering time. Aside from being sick, I spent the last month trying to adjust back to life in abundance and with distractions. I've also been trying to adjust to classes, and unfortunately (or fortunately, depending upon how you look at it) have had 2 weeks off of classes in the middle due to Jewish holidays, which really did not help as far as motivating me to get back into the routine of classes....
I think the changes that are happening, while not visible on the surface, are very evident in the inner workings of my life. God has brought me to a point of total surrender and humility before Him while reminding me of what makes me passionate about life and about my studies and how that intertwines with the work I do with GCP. It is not easy to realize that sometimes I lose sight of what is most important in life, but it is a truly humbling realization. I am trying to absorb all of the summer experiences into my life here and attempting to reconcile them with plans for our next steps. And it is overwhelming.
It is so easy to find things to jump into in Malawi - so many visible areas of need. But, these are only surface issues. The root cause is hardly addressed. We recently had a Board meeting, and in my report I stated that it is easy to fall into automatically working with the "desirable" populations, and doing what we think is the "right" thing to do or what is "needed". Many of the organizations there target certain people and have certain agendas; but the real test is actually living up to our vision and our desire for sustainable efforts that the communities we work with can take ownership of and continue after we are long gone, which ultimately means that we have no real agenda and we dialogue with the communities we build relationships with - one of which will be the community surrounding Kings Victory Academy (the high school I was at this past summer). I've shared before that there are many organizations who want to do work in that tiny country of Malawi - and are doing great work; but there must be something missing because the country is not much different from the one I left 21 years ago. In fact, I can venture to say that some things are worse, which is heart-breaking for me. But beyond that discouraging thought, there is more hope and an ardent desire to return to this country of mine, with endearing and warm people, and with less distractions than what we have here. And did I tell you about the utter joy these people have? I saw more joy expressed in a handful of people at morning chapel before school there than I have seen in a whole congregation at church here. It really made me wonder about my source of joy and how we express it.
As I get myself on track with school and with life here, I am also excited to be looking towards my dissertation because I am all the more determined to do something related to issues I've seen in southern Africa - specifically Malawi. I just hope that while I plan for those things, I can still get on track with things here on Long Island.
I appreciate your continued prayers for our organization and the work that we are contemplating over the next year. And if you have any questions, any comments, feel free to email me.
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